welcoming myself - ryan mckee

sooo...what to say
i have no outline.

a brief history to boot:
humanspot blog was set up as a recorded outlet for all the hazy, smoky, hops-induced colloquies the four of us have had these past few months, and in some cases the last decade. humanspot is ryan mckee (myself), ryan patton, jason rink and david mccorkle.

you must know i dont follow conventional textual formatting and punctuation: when i think the punctuation is warranted, it appears, so please, dont hold it against me. a hard return where a new thought appears, scant use of the apostrophe, and abuse of the ellipsis that indicates my often fragmentary thoughts, which i think is what theyre used for anyways... speaking of that, the majority of what i will write here will be a half thought. unresearched, (unless its something im angry about and begging for factual recognition and will be otherwise noted) opinionated, possibly offensive, and at times, outright scathing. im a stickler for spelling, if you see a typo, please note it.
i have a bad(?) habit of starting things under a grandiose scheme and getting to the basic framework of it and moving onto something new, whether it is a bigger endeavor than the former or not, its always just something new. i call it my own personal "big dig". boston anyone? understand though that this isnt a self-deprecating statement, its more of a disclaimer to you, the reader, to bear with my stream of conscience and pass judgement from there. please, pass judgement, because without it our efforts would be moot. this is an open forum. i can confidently speak for all of the authors of this blog when i say that any judgement is welcome, and will most likely be taken as just another michelin for our towering internal inferno. but were not angry...not all the time, and if we do get angry its only a flash in the pan.

that being said:

until late, ive always believed blogging to be a self-involved and egotistical practice. i used to see it as a community of people desperately clinging to their thesauri begging for intellectual acceptance or being an outlet for any empty shell of a human being epitomizing cowardess by hiding behind anonymity and defaming their peer community, and as a result turning themselves into the self-righteous, pretentious prick they initially set out to expose. by the way, this is something i will talk at great length about: playing the role of the wizard of oz by hiding behind the curtains. what are these people so scared of?
but as i said, ive joined the other side. ive embraced my internal blogger and justified my need for people to hear what i/we have to say. my generation grew up having gross access to the internet, and im sure my initial bias against blogging came with the inception of livejournal. uggh.. but now that im older and can censor myself to whats appropriate for the public forum, here we are. i promise my personal life will never be a topic on this blog. this is no place for the ben gibbard/connor oberst dripping-with-melodrama-horse-shit type of emotions. rather, this is stripped down, real and what we think and feel people should be actually be talking about. not who got too drunk at bar-bq-bar and split their head open on the jukebox, or whos haircut is the worst in orlando, or whos girlfriend turned into a lesbian... uggh.. rather this is a glorified, communal op-ed column open for discussion covering everything we possibly can.

enjoy it or dont, but youre here now so you might as well read...

-rm